Between hopeless and hopeful

If anyone is asking what's my resolution for this year, i would say that i wish for my mum well-being and I couldn't ask for more than that. 3 years ago, mum undergone a knee cap replacement surgery on her left knee. Since that, she is not active like she used to be. She is facing some difficulties on her movement. Because she was more focusing her strength on her right leg after the surgery, her right knee became weaker too. And after a year, she undergone another surgery again on her right knee.

After 2 months of mum second surgery she suffered from paralyse. She can't grasped her right hand and the doctor told that she might had arthritis too so there's the third operation for her on the right hand. This surgery had ruined her life. Her condition became worst than ever. Before the surgery she still can hold anything on her hand but now she can't even hold a cup of tea. What the worst is her left hand also suffer from ganglion cyst! Since that, she has tried many type medicines, from drugs to traditional Chinese herbs but it's useless. We sent her for physiotherapy treatment but it was futiled. Everything that we done was useless and now dad is already losing hope.

Mum's physical sickness had jeopardized her emotional well-being. She feels angry and upset most of the time. The complicated of dad's family background too has aggravated her condition. Seeing mum living in sickness and sadness make me feel really sorrow. I wonder why am i so unfortunate enough because how could all of these happened on my family. Sometimes i wish i could escape from all of these and of course i know it's such a stupid decision. However, i still hope for a miracle but i just don't know when it's going to appear and change everything back to normal. So i keep on waiting and waiting...