I have no idea why those unfortunate things keep happening on me. First, the cash machine fraud which had caused me lost more than 8000 GBP. Secondly, I bumped into a bloody racist on the street. I was so ignorant to presume UK might be a good place. Now it seems like I am having hard time in UK. There are thousands of Malaysian student study here but I am the only one who is so unfortunate (I am talking about the ATM fraud). Most of people thought that I was being exaggerated because it is hard to believe that a person could loss 8000 GBP within 11 days. Come on people, I have a statement here to prove that...
Now move to the racist, I bumped into this racist Pakistani (I am not really sure whether he is but I can definitely tell you that he is South Asian). He called us Chinese whores and illegal immigrant! This jerk definitely need to learn a lesson...He was trying to tackle my Singaporean friend but fail. Well, probably he was being turn off and placed in awkward. I was wondering who is the real "illegal immigrant'' here. We possesse authorized document to study here and we are not refugees who seek for help from a foreign government. Mind you, neither any Malaysian nor Singaporean are refugees in any part of the world. Even Malaysia is a developing nation, we are better than many country. No internal violence or proverty issues there, every children below 12 years old has the rights to obtain free education. Meanwhile, Singapore is one of the developed nations in the world. The only thing I could tell is he is another idiotic creature alives on this planet.
Today, London is totally different from past 30 years due to globalisation. Many unexpected incident could happen here. What we can do is trying to be streetwise and vigilant enough in order to survive in this danger society.
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Incomplete
It's been ages I never sign into my blogspot. I have no idea what was I doing. Neither I was busy nor I ran out the ideas what to write. Frankly, I was slacking at home for a few months. Now, I am here again but in different location. I have a number of things I would like to write. Everything is on transition since I stepped into this English land. Recalling the first day I was here, I was so astonished. Everything here are completely different from my homeland. I wonder is it appropriate to use the word 'civilize' to describe here.
A downtown girl travel for thousands miles to Europe and my parents is striving so hard to support my education. They deserve the best from their pampered daugther. I am going to englihten them with my outcome. Life is slightly hard here as I am struggle with loneliness. Please do not get me wrong. I mean I had get used to my parents beside me. My relationship with mum is very close. I used to stay by her side all the time especially since she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. She is down to earth and there's no other person who I loves more than her. Sadly, I have to leave her and it's also her biggest wish to witness I study abroad. She wants everything best for me.
I travelled for thousands miles and 13 hours to UK to acquire knowledge. I admit that I am a slow learner and humble person. However, I am determine and perserverance. I hold tight my faith and I am convinced that I am going to ace my goal. I am clear with what I am searching for and it's worth to be here. I slightly adapt with the accent, culture, norms and idiotic blonde jokes. Nevertheless, there is one thing obstruct me. It's verbal communication. I am not able to speak well. I could write, read and understand what people speak (I am not boasting, just telling you the truth). Each time there's something in my mind but I am so reluctant to express it verbally and this weakness is lagging me behind. Those who speak well usually get full attention from the others. Everytime I speak, I am likely mumbling and some people even do not understand at all.
Honestly, I seldom communicate in English. My medium of communication is Chinese...arrrrggggh I am going to pull my hair. Most of my friends here are Chinese. Once, I was trying to speak in English but most of them did not understand what the heck I was talking. They even criticized that I was speaking Manglish (Malaysia version of English) and that sounds stink for them. It's ok, what they said is not going to offend me. Vice versa; most of them are suck in vocabulary as well just I do not like to criticized people through direct. What make me feel console is there are some other ethnics understand what am I talking. Appreciate that
My eyes are barely open now...
A downtown girl travel for thousands miles to Europe and my parents is striving so hard to support my education. They deserve the best from their pampered daugther. I am going to englihten them with my outcome. Life is slightly hard here as I am struggle with loneliness. Please do not get me wrong. I mean I had get used to my parents beside me. My relationship with mum is very close. I used to stay by her side all the time especially since she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. She is down to earth and there's no other person who I loves more than her. Sadly, I have to leave her and it's also her biggest wish to witness I study abroad. She wants everything best for me.
I travelled for thousands miles and 13 hours to UK to acquire knowledge. I admit that I am a slow learner and humble person. However, I am determine and perserverance. I hold tight my faith and I am convinced that I am going to ace my goal. I am clear with what I am searching for and it's worth to be here. I slightly adapt with the accent, culture, norms and idiotic blonde jokes. Nevertheless, there is one thing obstruct me. It's verbal communication. I am not able to speak well. I could write, read and understand what people speak (I am not boasting, just telling you the truth). Each time there's something in my mind but I am so reluctant to express it verbally and this weakness is lagging me behind. Those who speak well usually get full attention from the others. Everytime I speak, I am likely mumbling and some people even do not understand at all.
Honestly, I seldom communicate in English. My medium of communication is Chinese...arrrrggggh I am going to pull my hair. Most of my friends here are Chinese. Once, I was trying to speak in English but most of them did not understand what the heck I was talking. They even criticized that I was speaking Manglish (Malaysia version of English) and that sounds stink for them. It's ok, what they said is not going to offend me. Vice versa; most of them are suck in vocabulary as well just I do not like to criticized people through direct. What make me feel console is there are some other ethnics understand what am I talking. Appreciate that
My eyes are barely open now...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
~"HapPY GrAduAtIoN''~
After spending my 3 and a half year at this varsity, i got my first degree on yesterday. Thanks for my papa, mama, lecturers and friends who supported and helped me so much. And not forget to all my coursemates and friends who had just received their degree on these 3 days of convocation, happy graduation to you guys and gals too :). May everyone was blessed with a bright future and hope there'll be any chance for us to meet again at someday. Cheers!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Between hopeless and hopeful
If anyone is asking what's my resolution for this year, i would say that i wish for my mum well-being and I couldn't ask for more than that. 3 years ago, mum undergone a knee cap replacement surgery on her left knee. Since that, she is not active like she used to be. She is facing some difficulties on her movement. Because she was more focusing her strength on her right leg after the surgery, her right knee became weaker too. And after a year, she undergone another surgery again on her right knee.
After 2 months of mum second surgery she suffered from paralyse. She can't grasped her right hand and the doctor told that she might had arthritis too so there's the third operation for her on the right hand. This surgery had ruined her life. Her condition became worst than ever. Before the surgery she still can hold anything on her hand but now she can't even hold a cup of tea. What the worst is her left hand also suffer from ganglion cyst! Since that, she has tried many type medicines, from drugs to traditional Chinese herbs but it's useless. We sent her for physiotherapy treatment but it was futiled. Everything that we done was useless and now dad is already losing hope.
Mum's physical sickness had jeopardized her emotional well-being. She feels angry and upset most of the time. The complicated of dad's family background too has aggravated her condition. Seeing mum living in sickness and sadness make me feel really sorrow. I wonder why am i so unfortunate enough because how could all of these happened on my family. Sometimes i wish i could escape from all of these and of course i know it's such a stupid decision. However, i still hope for a miracle but i just don't know when it's going to appear and change everything back to normal. So i keep on waiting and waiting...
After 2 months of mum second surgery she suffered from paralyse. She can't grasped her right hand and the doctor told that she might had arthritis too so there's the third operation for her on the right hand. This surgery had ruined her life. Her condition became worst than ever. Before the surgery she still can hold anything on her hand but now she can't even hold a cup of tea. What the worst is her left hand also suffer from ganglion cyst! Since that, she has tried many type medicines, from drugs to traditional Chinese herbs but it's useless. We sent her for physiotherapy treatment but it was futiled. Everything that we done was useless and now dad is already losing hope.
Mum's physical sickness had jeopardized her emotional well-being. She feels angry and upset most of the time. The complicated of dad's family background too has aggravated her condition. Seeing mum living in sickness and sadness make me feel really sorrow. I wonder why am i so unfortunate enough because how could all of these happened on my family. Sometimes i wish i could escape from all of these and of course i know it's such a stupid decision. However, i still hope for a miracle but i just don't know when it's going to appear and change everything back to normal. So i keep on waiting and waiting...
Thursday, January 1, 2009
I am out of my mind
Yeah, it's new year again. Goodbye 2008 and hello to 2009. This year, my new year celebration was a bit special yet it's also nearly "crashed" by my mum. I can't believe that i spent my last minutes of 2008 and the first minutes of 2009 at an "unfamiliar" environment. Luckly there's someone beside me. Thank God, at least i didn't feel strange and nervous on that situation.
Well, if you're asking why i spent my new year celebration at that "unfamiliar" place, ok let me tell ya here. Actually this year i got no plan to celebrate my new year since my "Death House" members had gone back to their hometown. At first, i could predict that my new year will be lonely and i am going to spent my last minutes of 2oo8 on Dota. At the night before 31st, someone text me and suddenly he mentioned about a function which is going to held on his place. He knew that i won't be interested with any function that held at his place. Yeah, he's right and for me that place is damn boring or perhaps i should said it's boring than my International Law's lecture(sorry Dr.AG i am just telling the truth) I know that he's neither forcing nor using me while there's a function everytime.
I appreciate his invitation everytime. This time i accept the invitation and i don't know why. Maybe i don't want to spend my new year alone or maybe i enjoy and feel comfortable to meet him everytime. I really don't know..."3,2,1..happy new year", yeah, it's midnight now and the fireworks were so nice in the dark sky. The next event was "dance floor". "I am not going to let you back unless you have to dance with me first" he said. It was 12.15am and my phone rang. It was mum, she said "hey when are you coming home, don't think that i'll let you loitering at there till late" "yes mum, but it's new year eve. Everyone is celebrating it, at least u should let me stay until 1am, i promise i'll be back on that time" "are you trying to defense me huh!!! Met with a guy liao then not respect me liao la, "gatal"!!" to be honest, i was so angry with her at that time. I am 24 yrs old and why couldn't i have my own freedom!! She's overprotective, that's new year eve and it's only once. I know what am i doing. My mood was ruined by her at that time...Down and frustated.
I told him what was happened and at first he said he don't want to let me go on that time. I told him i wish i could stay longer but i got no choice. He said he would talk to my mum if she rang me again and of course i am not going to let him do that because i know what's the effect. He said he didn't care because he already get used being scold and shout by people. Actually that's not the main point, i afraid i am not able to meet and chat with him again if he does that. No one know mum well than me even dad... I know he's trying to help and i appreciate that but i really can't let him do that. Frankly, i feel guilty and sorry until now. A bit lack of courages to talk with him since that. Maybe i shouldn't accept that invitation, there's many gals out there who're willing to be his partner on the function. Once called, sure come and they're much more active plus sophisicated than me, a typical "kampung gal". I am just a dummy who is quiet most of the time.
He told me he was happy because i was there but i still doubt about what he said because i just ruined the party. He also does prepared a costume to me for that function but i didn't wear it. *sigh* how stupid i was, WHY WAS I LIKE THAT!! there's still another suitable person who was more deserved than me to be there. I didn't blame my mum actually and i know why she done that to me. For me, she's a good mother. She changes a lot 3 years ago due to her sickness... down, hopeless, sadness and all the negative feeling surround her... I don't remember when was the last time i saw her smile and i really miss that. I hope this year would be a good year ahead and bringing a new hope for me...i pray for it...
Well, if you're asking why i spent my new year celebration at that "unfamiliar" place, ok let me tell ya here. Actually this year i got no plan to celebrate my new year since my "Death House" members had gone back to their hometown. At first, i could predict that my new year will be lonely and i am going to spent my last minutes of 2oo8 on Dota. At the night before 31st, someone text me and suddenly he mentioned about a function which is going to held on his place. He knew that i won't be interested with any function that held at his place. Yeah, he's right and for me that place is damn boring or perhaps i should said it's boring than my International Law's lecture(sorry Dr.AG i am just telling the truth) I know that he's neither forcing nor using me while there's a function everytime.
I appreciate his invitation everytime. This time i accept the invitation and i don't know why. Maybe i don't want to spend my new year alone or maybe i enjoy and feel comfortable to meet him everytime. I really don't know..."3,2,1..happy new year", yeah, it's midnight now and the fireworks were so nice in the dark sky. The next event was "dance floor". "I am not going to let you back unless you have to dance with me first" he said. It was 12.15am and my phone rang. It was mum, she said "hey when are you coming home, don't think that i'll let you loitering at there till late" "yes mum, but it's new year eve. Everyone is celebrating it, at least u should let me stay until 1am, i promise i'll be back on that time" "are you trying to defense me huh!!! Met with a guy liao then not respect me liao la, "gatal"!!" to be honest, i was so angry with her at that time. I am 24 yrs old and why couldn't i have my own freedom!! She's overprotective, that's new year eve and it's only once. I know what am i doing. My mood was ruined by her at that time...Down and frustated.
I told him what was happened and at first he said he don't want to let me go on that time. I told him i wish i could stay longer but i got no choice. He said he would talk to my mum if she rang me again and of course i am not going to let him do that because i know what's the effect. He said he didn't care because he already get used being scold and shout by people. Actually that's not the main point, i afraid i am not able to meet and chat with him again if he does that. No one know mum well than me even dad... I know he's trying to help and i appreciate that but i really can't let him do that. Frankly, i feel guilty and sorry until now. A bit lack of courages to talk with him since that. Maybe i shouldn't accept that invitation, there's many gals out there who're willing to be his partner on the function. Once called, sure come and they're much more active plus sophisicated than me, a typical "kampung gal". I am just a dummy who is quiet most of the time.
He told me he was happy because i was there but i still doubt about what he said because i just ruined the party. He also does prepared a costume to me for that function but i didn't wear it. *sigh* how stupid i was, WHY WAS I LIKE THAT!! there's still another suitable person who was more deserved than me to be there. I didn't blame my mum actually and i know why she done that to me. For me, she's a good mother. She changes a lot 3 years ago due to her sickness... down, hopeless, sadness and all the negative feeling surround her... I don't remember when was the last time i saw her smile and i really miss that. I hope this year would be a good year ahead and bringing a new hope for me...i pray for it...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Strength of pride
As usual, while catching up with CNN news I signed in to my MSN. An old friend came to greet me. We had a long and nice chat. Suddenly, she asked about my personal life regarding about my relationship matter. I stated that i am still "single but not available" (cos' my mind was oredi engaged with someone). Then she started with "want me to introduce a leng chai (handsome lad in chinese) to you?" so i told her "hey, sorry la i am not into that" come on, i hate when peoples told me that. Once my aunts told me that they're going to introduce a "nice guy" to me. At that time i was on my way to smash the table..Oh sh!t
Ok back to the ignorant gal, "really don't want meh leng chai lo, my bf's friend" and i replied "not interested k?" "i know la, u prefer an english educated background guy is it? i very hate the Bananas lo (banana is the way we describe those english educated background people), they are so open minded, can touch here touch there with any gals and after that they are goin to end up with you on the bed!" DAMN IRRITATING when i saw the sentences.."what made you think like these huh? are you prejudice against those english edu's? what's wrong with an english educated background guy? this is not the right way to judge and also you can't presume every english educated person is same." And she goes by "you said only ma, maybe you already in love with one of them ma, that's why you're blind, you see his everthing as good" "ok, i am not interested with your leng chai k? and i dont want to pick up any arguement with you. For your info, i need someone who has same thinking with me. I can't simply look for AH BENG type guy k?" "oh you're pissing down on people. My bf is only a farmer but i really love him, education background is not a barriers for love"
My anger rose even more when i heard she told me that..123 ok calm down Ee Lyn, i told myself. No point to argue with such an ignorant gal. "i think one day u'll lose yourself ee lyn if u're hard headed" she can't simply made a judgement without seeing and understanding me... maybe i should say that we have different thinking. For me, i prefer someone who understand me and could share my problem with him. Mutually acceptable and understanding is crucial in relationship. And don't tell me that any typical Ah Beng could clarify and understand what a graduate student think and what's her demand. Somehow i am so stress enough recently and don't try to make me mad...
Her words are not going to bring me down and i understand myself more than anyone..i could define and evaluate the good, the ugly and the bad. It doesn't matter i am single now cos' i was blessed with 95 % of courages and being able to stand with my own foot. I am bless with a loving mum who always want the best for me and some dearest friends who'll always be there for me. At last for "you" out there, i just want to say "glad that u're around me, always :)"
Ok back to the ignorant gal, "really don't want meh leng chai lo, my bf's friend" and i replied "not interested k?" "i know la, u prefer an english educated background guy is it? i very hate the Bananas lo (banana is the way we describe those english educated background people), they are so open minded, can touch here touch there with any gals and after that they are goin to end up with you on the bed!" DAMN IRRITATING when i saw the sentences.."what made you think like these huh? are you prejudice against those english edu's? what's wrong with an english educated background guy? this is not the right way to judge and also you can't presume every english educated person is same." And she goes by "you said only ma, maybe you already in love with one of them ma, that's why you're blind, you see his everthing as good" "ok, i am not interested with your leng chai k? and i dont want to pick up any arguement with you. For your info, i need someone who has same thinking with me. I can't simply look for AH BENG type guy k?" "oh you're pissing down on people. My bf is only a farmer but i really love him, education background is not a barriers for love"
My anger rose even more when i heard she told me that..123 ok calm down Ee Lyn, i told myself. No point to argue with such an ignorant gal. "i think one day u'll lose yourself ee lyn if u're hard headed" she can't simply made a judgement without seeing and understanding me... maybe i should say that we have different thinking. For me, i prefer someone who understand me and could share my problem with him. Mutually acceptable and understanding is crucial in relationship. And don't tell me that any typical Ah Beng could clarify and understand what a graduate student think and what's her demand. Somehow i am so stress enough recently and don't try to make me mad...
Her words are not going to bring me down and i understand myself more than anyone..i could define and evaluate the good, the ugly and the bad. It doesn't matter i am single now cos' i was blessed with 95 % of courages and being able to stand with my own foot. I am bless with a loving mum who always want the best for me and some dearest friends who'll always be there for me. At last for "you" out there, i just want to say "glad that u're around me, always :)"
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Greetings
Greetings! A girl who came from a small town of Malaysia would like to share her journey of life with any others. Well, feel free to browse and drop any comment here. Enjoy!
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