What a relief!! I am much better now after an invigorating swim and also thanks to a friend who volunteered to be my listener. At last "it" doesn't matter to me now.
It's been half year since i knew the truth. I already knew he was telling me a lie since the beginning but i don't care because maybe he got his own reason and i respect him by not interfered in his personal matter. After we treat each other as good friend, he still kept it as secret from me. Everytime i ask him but he denied it(even i already knew the truth but i just pretend like knowing nothing because i was testing him). Ok, let me clarify here. Don't get me wrong, i just treat him like any other friends and I strongly agree that friends shouldn't lie. Was it a shameless thing to tell people that you're not longer a single? Maybe at the beginning you'll feel uneasy to tell your new friend about it but what about when you get to know him/her after a period?
Maybe you would like to keep it as secret but please don't try to pretend in front of me by complaining that you're still single k? So fake! Actually i could feel one thing and it's he thought that i Am interested about him. The way he talked to me..oh please, i know that i am still single but i don't have that intention k? There's also someone (who stand by this liar's side) said that i am too sensitive and somemore asked me why am i so angry about this matter..Come on. If i really care and angry i sure told the liar that i already knew his "top secret" since the beginning.
No offence, guys support guys and the gender war usually occur in this kind of situation. Now i could tell that probably these people just want to take advantage on me but sometimes I am still doubt about that. Anyway why should i care for that much, i knew this type friendship won't last longer.
After telling my friend all about these things and listening to some of his words, i think that he is absolutely right. Yeay...that's none my business and it's not worth to treat this liar as a friend.. Thanks yea dude, maybe i need someone like you to slap me :p
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
some "so called" expert
A few days ago, there's a Chinese guy sending me a friend request on facebook. After confirmed him as my friend, he started browsing my profile and got my hotmail contact from there. Honestly i didn't browse through his profile yet after approved his friend request because most of the times i don't even care to browse a stranger's profile who come to know me from friends finder website except my real life or long lost friends.
At msn, he started by saying "wowow, i was so surprise because it's so rare to see a gorgeous and pretty gal like you who's so interested in politics" I am a fan of Lim Kit Siang in facebook and he got to find me inside the fan list. He said not so many girls that he knows are interesting in politics and some of them don't even know a little general knowledge about politics. What i want to say at here is he was blabbing on what he knows about politics. Everything he said was about Malaysia's current political issues. Started from UMNO to DAP to MCA then PR, it really made my eyelids began to drop and this seems like he was a self declared political scientist.
He asked me which party i choose to be a member and i told him neither. Then he said "that's the biggest fault among Malaysian Chinese , they have the same thinking like you, don't want to get involve into politics but still want to complain about government. At least you choose a party, like me. Recently i had submit my form to DAP and i hope that they will give me a feedback." It also seems like he's boasting about his capability to contribute something to Chinese community. For me, he thinks that he's an expert in political field. Oh please... I wonder why nowadays there's some peoples trying to be 21st century Plato and Aristotle. It doesn't mean those whoever concern about current issues and always catch up with media can be a political scientist. Perhaps they should follow the steps of Nicollo Machiavelli by achieving some masterpiece or develop any suitable principle to apply in political administation.
After the balderdash session, he asked me about my major, i told him that i studied "diplomacy and international relations" and guess what he said??? I nearly fainted by his stupid question. He said "what is that? Oh ya, i know it! It's about marketing stuffs right?" What a dumb ass!! A "so called" politics expert... And i blocked and deleted him. Phew!!
At msn, he started by saying "wowow, i was so surprise because it's so rare to see a gorgeous and pretty gal like you who's so interested in politics" I am a fan of Lim Kit Siang in facebook and he got to find me inside the fan list. He said not so many girls that he knows are interesting in politics and some of them don't even know a little general knowledge about politics. What i want to say at here is he was blabbing on what he knows about politics. Everything he said was about Malaysia's current political issues. Started from UMNO to DAP to MCA then PR, it really made my eyelids began to drop and this seems like he was a self declared political scientist.
He asked me which party i choose to be a member and i told him neither. Then he said "that's the biggest fault among Malaysian Chinese , they have the same thinking like you, don't want to get involve into politics but still want to complain about government. At least you choose a party, like me. Recently i had submit my form to DAP and i hope that they will give me a feedback." It also seems like he's boasting about his capability to contribute something to Chinese community. For me, he thinks that he's an expert in political field. Oh please... I wonder why nowadays there's some peoples trying to be 21st century Plato and Aristotle. It doesn't mean those whoever concern about current issues and always catch up with media can be a political scientist. Perhaps they should follow the steps of Nicollo Machiavelli by achieving some masterpiece or develop any suitable principle to apply in political administation.
After the balderdash session, he asked me about my major, i told him that i studied "diplomacy and international relations" and guess what he said??? I nearly fainted by his stupid question. He said "what is that? Oh ya, i know it! It's about marketing stuffs right?" What a dumb ass!! A "so called" politics expert... And i blocked and deleted him. Phew!!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Between hopeless and hopeful
If anyone is asking what's my resolution for this year, i would say that i wish for my mum well-being and I couldn't ask for more than that. 3 years ago, mum undergone a knee cap replacement surgery on her left knee. Since that, she is not active like she used to be. She is facing some difficulties on her movement. Because she was more focusing her strength on her right leg after the surgery, her right knee became weaker too. And after a year, she undergone another surgery again on her right knee.
After 2 months of mum second surgery she suffered from paralyse. She can't grasped her right hand and the doctor told that she might had arthritis too so there's the third operation for her on the right hand. This surgery had ruined her life. Her condition became worst than ever. Before the surgery she still can hold anything on her hand but now she can't even hold a cup of tea. What the worst is her left hand also suffer from ganglion cyst! Since that, she has tried many type medicines, from drugs to traditional Chinese herbs but it's useless. We sent her for physiotherapy treatment but it was futiled. Everything that we done was useless and now dad is already losing hope.
Mum's physical sickness had jeopardized her emotional well-being. She feels angry and upset most of the time. The complicated of dad's family background too has aggravated her condition. Seeing mum living in sickness and sadness make me feel really sorrow. I wonder why am i so unfortunate enough because how could all of these happened on my family. Sometimes i wish i could escape from all of these and of course i know it's such a stupid decision. However, i still hope for a miracle but i just don't know when it's going to appear and change everything back to normal. So i keep on waiting and waiting...
After 2 months of mum second surgery she suffered from paralyse. She can't grasped her right hand and the doctor told that she might had arthritis too so there's the third operation for her on the right hand. This surgery had ruined her life. Her condition became worst than ever. Before the surgery she still can hold anything on her hand but now she can't even hold a cup of tea. What the worst is her left hand also suffer from ganglion cyst! Since that, she has tried many type medicines, from drugs to traditional Chinese herbs but it's useless. We sent her for physiotherapy treatment but it was futiled. Everything that we done was useless and now dad is already losing hope.
Mum's physical sickness had jeopardized her emotional well-being. She feels angry and upset most of the time. The complicated of dad's family background too has aggravated her condition. Seeing mum living in sickness and sadness make me feel really sorrow. I wonder why am i so unfortunate enough because how could all of these happened on my family. Sometimes i wish i could escape from all of these and of course i know it's such a stupid decision. However, i still hope for a miracle but i just don't know when it's going to appear and change everything back to normal. So i keep on waiting and waiting...
Thursday, January 1, 2009
I am out of my mind
Yeah, it's new year again. Goodbye 2008 and hello to 2009. This year, my new year celebration was a bit special yet it's also nearly "crashed" by my mum. I can't believe that i spent my last minutes of 2008 and the first minutes of 2009 at an "unfamiliar" environment. Luckly there's someone beside me. Thank God, at least i didn't feel strange and nervous on that situation.
Well, if you're asking why i spent my new year celebration at that "unfamiliar" place, ok let me tell ya here. Actually this year i got no plan to celebrate my new year since my "Death House" members had gone back to their hometown. At first, i could predict that my new year will be lonely and i am going to spent my last minutes of 2oo8 on Dota. At the night before 31st, someone text me and suddenly he mentioned about a function which is going to held on his place. He knew that i won't be interested with any function that held at his place. Yeah, he's right and for me that place is damn boring or perhaps i should said it's boring than my International Law's lecture(sorry Dr.AG i am just telling the truth) I know that he's neither forcing nor using me while there's a function everytime.
I appreciate his invitation everytime. This time i accept the invitation and i don't know why. Maybe i don't want to spend my new year alone or maybe i enjoy and feel comfortable to meet him everytime. I really don't know..."3,2,1..happy new year", yeah, it's midnight now and the fireworks were so nice in the dark sky. The next event was "dance floor". "I am not going to let you back unless you have to dance with me first" he said. It was 12.15am and my phone rang. It was mum, she said "hey when are you coming home, don't think that i'll let you loitering at there till late" "yes mum, but it's new year eve. Everyone is celebrating it, at least u should let me stay until 1am, i promise i'll be back on that time" "are you trying to defense me huh!!! Met with a guy liao then not respect me liao la, "gatal"!!" to be honest, i was so angry with her at that time. I am 24 yrs old and why couldn't i have my own freedom!! She's overprotective, that's new year eve and it's only once. I know what am i doing. My mood was ruined by her at that time...Down and frustated.
I told him what was happened and at first he said he don't want to let me go on that time. I told him i wish i could stay longer but i got no choice. He said he would talk to my mum if she rang me again and of course i am not going to let him do that because i know what's the effect. He said he didn't care because he already get used being scold and shout by people. Actually that's not the main point, i afraid i am not able to meet and chat with him again if he does that. No one know mum well than me even dad... I know he's trying to help and i appreciate that but i really can't let him do that. Frankly, i feel guilty and sorry until now. A bit lack of courages to talk with him since that. Maybe i shouldn't accept that invitation, there's many gals out there who're willing to be his partner on the function. Once called, sure come and they're much more active plus sophisicated than me, a typical "kampung gal". I am just a dummy who is quiet most of the time.
He told me he was happy because i was there but i still doubt about what he said because i just ruined the party. He also does prepared a costume to me for that function but i didn't wear it. *sigh* how stupid i was, WHY WAS I LIKE THAT!! there's still another suitable person who was more deserved than me to be there. I didn't blame my mum actually and i know why she done that to me. For me, she's a good mother. She changes a lot 3 years ago due to her sickness... down, hopeless, sadness and all the negative feeling surround her... I don't remember when was the last time i saw her smile and i really miss that. I hope this year would be a good year ahead and bringing a new hope for me...i pray for it...
Well, if you're asking why i spent my new year celebration at that "unfamiliar" place, ok let me tell ya here. Actually this year i got no plan to celebrate my new year since my "Death House" members had gone back to their hometown. At first, i could predict that my new year will be lonely and i am going to spent my last minutes of 2oo8 on Dota. At the night before 31st, someone text me and suddenly he mentioned about a function which is going to held on his place. He knew that i won't be interested with any function that held at his place. Yeah, he's right and for me that place is damn boring or perhaps i should said it's boring than my International Law's lecture(sorry Dr.AG i am just telling the truth) I know that he's neither forcing nor using me while there's a function everytime.
I appreciate his invitation everytime. This time i accept the invitation and i don't know why. Maybe i don't want to spend my new year alone or maybe i enjoy and feel comfortable to meet him everytime. I really don't know..."3,2,1..happy new year", yeah, it's midnight now and the fireworks were so nice in the dark sky. The next event was "dance floor". "I am not going to let you back unless you have to dance with me first" he said. It was 12.15am and my phone rang. It was mum, she said "hey when are you coming home, don't think that i'll let you loitering at there till late" "yes mum, but it's new year eve. Everyone is celebrating it, at least u should let me stay until 1am, i promise i'll be back on that time" "are you trying to defense me huh!!! Met with a guy liao then not respect me liao la, "gatal"!!" to be honest, i was so angry with her at that time. I am 24 yrs old and why couldn't i have my own freedom!! She's overprotective, that's new year eve and it's only once. I know what am i doing. My mood was ruined by her at that time...Down and frustated.
I told him what was happened and at first he said he don't want to let me go on that time. I told him i wish i could stay longer but i got no choice. He said he would talk to my mum if she rang me again and of course i am not going to let him do that because i know what's the effect. He said he didn't care because he already get used being scold and shout by people. Actually that's not the main point, i afraid i am not able to meet and chat with him again if he does that. No one know mum well than me even dad... I know he's trying to help and i appreciate that but i really can't let him do that. Frankly, i feel guilty and sorry until now. A bit lack of courages to talk with him since that. Maybe i shouldn't accept that invitation, there's many gals out there who're willing to be his partner on the function. Once called, sure come and they're much more active plus sophisicated than me, a typical "kampung gal". I am just a dummy who is quiet most of the time.
He told me he was happy because i was there but i still doubt about what he said because i just ruined the party. He also does prepared a costume to me for that function but i didn't wear it. *sigh* how stupid i was, WHY WAS I LIKE THAT!! there's still another suitable person who was more deserved than me to be there. I didn't blame my mum actually and i know why she done that to me. For me, she's a good mother. She changes a lot 3 years ago due to her sickness... down, hopeless, sadness and all the negative feeling surround her... I don't remember when was the last time i saw her smile and i really miss that. I hope this year would be a good year ahead and bringing a new hope for me...i pray for it...
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