Incomplete

It's been ages I never sign into my blogspot. I have no idea what was I doing. Neither I was busy nor I ran out the ideas what to write. Frankly, I was slacking at home for a few months. Now, I am here again but in different location. I have a number of things I would like to write. Everything is on transition since I stepped into this English land. Recalling the first day I was here, I was so astonished. Everything here are completely different from my homeland. I wonder is it appropriate to use the word 'civilize' to describe here.

A downtown girl travel for thousands miles to Europe and my parents is striving so hard to support my education. They deserve the best from their pampered daugther. I am going to englihten them with my outcome. Life is slightly hard here as I am struggle with loneliness. Please do not get me wrong. I mean I had get used to my parents beside me. My relationship with mum is very close. I used to stay by her side all the time especially since she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. She is down to earth and there's no other person who I loves more than her. Sadly, I have to leave her and it's also her biggest wish to witness I study abroad. She wants everything best for me.

I travelled for thousands miles and 13 hours to UK to acquire knowledge. I admit that I am a slow learner and humble person. However, I am determine and perserverance. I hold tight my faith and I am convinced that I am going to ace my goal. I am clear with what I am searching for and it's worth to be here. I slightly adapt with the accent, culture, norms and idiotic blonde jokes. Nevertheless, there is one thing obstruct me. It's verbal communication. I am not able to speak well. I could write, read and understand what people speak (I am not boasting, just telling you the truth). Each time there's something in my mind but I am so reluctant to express it verbally and this weakness is lagging me behind. Those who speak well usually get full attention from the others. Everytime I speak, I am likely mumbling and some people even do not understand at all.

Honestly, I seldom communicate in English. My medium of communication is Chinese...arrrrggggh I am going to pull my hair. Most of my friends here are Chinese. Once, I was trying to speak in English but most of them did not understand what the heck I was talking. They even criticized that I was speaking Manglish (Malaysia version of English) and that sounds stink for them. It's ok, what they said is not going to offend me. Vice versa; most of them are suck in vocabulary as well just I do not like to criticized people through direct. What make me feel console is there are some other ethnics understand what am I talking. Appreciate that

My eyes are barely open now...